On Friday, I endorsed Oklahoma State Question 712, which would allow folks going to casinos in this state to play card games and slots, instead of whatever they play now. (I’ve never been to one, but I think they play bingo.) In advocating a “Yes” vote on 712, I took a contrary position to the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma and their marvelous Gambling Mouse cartoon.

But on this Sabbath Day, the Vigil of the Feast of All Saints, I will even up the score a bit by agreeing with the Baptists on State Questions 705 and 706, which would institute a state lottery. They’re against them. So am I, although for different reasons.

The BGCO lumps questions 705 and 706 with question 712, seeing them all as “expanding gambling.” I see them as very different issues.

The BGCO is opposed to the lottery because they think gambling is immoral, and it would somehow harm children. I don’t think games of chance are immoral; I just don’t think they are among the state’s proper functions.

But never mind the reasoning. The bottom line is, we agree: No on 705 and 706. With the combined political clout of the BGCO and blog.gleeson.us, the lottery is consigned to flames of woe.

In a move which might have surprised somebody, somewhere, terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden has endorsed war hero gentleman senator John Kerry in the upcoming U.S. presidential election.

In his first public appearance since not being killed, America’s number one enemy made his endorsement at a “Vote or Die!” concert in Heinz Auditorium. Bin Laden will be touring with the band of other anti-American geezers, including Eddie Vedder, Bruce Springsteen, and Korean dictator Kim Jong-il, from now until Nov. 2, if they all live so long.

Sen. Kerry, who has previously voiced a desire to “hunt down and kill” bin Laden, expressed gratitude and enthusiasm at the concert. “I may have said some things in an insensitive manner, but tolerance of differences is what made this country great,” said the Massachusetts liberal. “And Osama and I share one goal, and that’s the defeat of George Bush. His endorsement of me today proves what I’ve said many times, that America needs to be more respected abroad.”

In his own remarks, bin Laden said, “Vote for John Kerry. Vote or die, this is your choice as your placards proclaim truthfully. Americans will vote for John Kerry, because you are weak, and you wish to surrender, ha ha.” He then joined Kerry and Springsteen in an off-key rendition of “Fortunate Son.”

At one point, Mr. bin Laden drew laughter from the audience of Democratic music lovers, when he referred to candidates Kerry and Edwards as “twin towers of praiseworthiness.” When the audience groaned, he realized his embarrassing reference. “Oooops, did I say that? Is Karl Rove wrote my speech, ha ha.”

I’ve been designing this blog incrementally, you might say. I started with a pretty basic, boxy template a month ago. But when I have the time to spare, and the mood strikes me, I make little modifications to it.

My latest such modification is in the display of comments and trackbacks. Up until today, comments and trackbacks were all displayed with type only, all in a row, something like this:

Comment from John Q. Public [Visitor]
I really like your blog.
Comment from Sean [Member]
Thanks.
Comment from Chet [Member]
I like it too.
Comment from Phoebe [Member]
Isn’t he a dreamboat? I love you, sweetie.
Trackback from SomeOtherBlog.com [Visitor]
Boy do I like Sean’s blog. You’ve got to go see it…
Comment from Sean [Member]
Thanks, I love you as well.
Comment from John Q. Public [Visitor]
Who, me?
Comment from Sean [Member]
No, not you. Phoebe.
Comment from Chet [Member]
Which one’s Phoebe?

There were some inadequacies with this presentation, which I have corrected today. From now on, comments and trackbacks are displayed with graphics, something like this:

John Q. Public
I really like your blog.

Sean
Thanks.

Chet
I like it too.

Phoebe
Isn’t he a dreamboat? I love you, sweetie.

SomeOtherBlog.com
Boy do I like Sean’s blog. You’ve got to go see it…

Sean
Thanks, I love you as well.

See the improvement? Not only is it cuter, it is also easier to distinguish at a glance a trackback from a comment, and a comment by a member or visitor from a reply by me or Phoebe.

WHAT THE COLORS MEAN
A comment by me (Sean) will have this brown speech balloon in the upper left corner.

A comment by the lovely Phoebe will be adorned with this red and gold speech balloon.

But a comment from you, whoever you are, will get this gray speech balloon…

…unless of course you are a registered member of blog.gleeson.us, in which case you get this handsome hunter green model. Membership does have its privileges. (If you are a member, but not logged in when you post your comment, you will be treated like a common visitor. My server doesn’t know who’s who, it just knows who’s logged in. Yes, I’m talking to you, Eureka.)

SHOULD I BECOME A MEMBER?
Is there any reason you should register as a member of this blog, other than getting the pretty colored speech balloon by your comments? Not really. Not yet, I mean. But the day might come in the future when being a member makes a significant difference:

• If abusive comments become a problem, we could disable open comments and only let members comment. Or we could give members the ability to put images and links in comments, but only let visitors use text.
• We might someday post entries to the blog that only members can see. Or, we could even post entries that are invisible to all but certain members. For instance, I could have a list of “members who know about Sean’s plans to burglarize Fort Knox,” and I could write posts about how that project is coming that only members on that list can see.
• Right now only Phoebe and I can actually post entries to this site, but if we go on vacation or something, we could designate one or more guest-bloggers to fill in.
• There may be other things that I can’t even imagine now.

So if you want to prepare for that brave new world now, you may register by clicking the "Register…" link somewhere near the bottom of the right-hand column of the page there. No rush, though.

UPDATE! After reading this, I feel compelled to clarify that the example I gave was hypothetical, and I have no plans to burglarize Fort Knox.

Wednesday, I made blogging history by endorsing candidates on every ballot throughout the country. Today, I stake out my official position on Oklahoma State Question 712. My position on this referendum, which would allow existing gambling emporia (casinos and racetracks) to offer more sorts of games to their clientele, is as follows: Yes.

Now let’s talk about the Gambling Mouse cartoon, an hilarious 30-second television ad preaching against not only Question 712, but also Questions 705 and 706, which would establish a state lottery in Oklahoma.

It opens with a cheery nighttime scene of a happy Protestant mouse waving to his friendly minister, standing at the entrance to the mousehole church. You can tell it’s a church, because it’s got a cross-shaped bit nibbled out of the brick wall. Also, a sign by the hole reads “Sunday Service 10:00AM.” Reverend Mousejoy, wearing a black shirt with a huge white cross on the chest, is standing by the door in the dead of night, ready to greet his flock, due to arrive in just six to eight hours.

Uh-oh. Just across the alley is an open-air casino, operated by a cat the color of bread mold. The cat wears glasses and a suit, and we learn from his name tag that his name is Bradley. (Hey, the governor’s name is Bradley, too. And he wears glasses. And a suit!) “Heeeyyyyy,” Brad’s sultry tempting voice oozes at the naive rodent. “Come play da lottoooo. Winna piece o’cheeeeeeese.”

At the mere mention of ‘cheeeeeeese,’ our nameless hero swoons, “ooooOOOOooooo!” His pupils turn to images of Swiss cheese as he gawps at Bradley’s gaming devices, all of which are inexpertly modified mousetraps. You can see the telltale coiled springs, and the stenciled words “MOUSETRAP, PATENT PENDING.” But our mouse can’t see that, because his irises are obscured by those cheese cartoons.

Bradley continues his slick pitch: “Pull de arm on de one-arm bandit.” He brandishes an unlit cigar in his right hand, mainly to demonstrate that he may be evil. “It might be immoral,” he taunts, narrowing his green eyes to mere slits, “but it’s smart.”

The preacher mouse, mere inches away, watches helplessly. He clearly wants to save his doomed brother from his imminent death. But alas, he cannot budge from his post by the churchhole. All he can do is squeak an unheeded warning: “No, no, run! It’s a lie!” He also waves his little fists back and forth like an angry little girl.

This sage advice is not taken to heart by our protagonist. The fateful lever is yanked. The fateful reels spin, fatefully. Will our foolish gambling mouse be cruelly destroyed by the nefarious device? Well, will he?

Yep. Cut to the pastor’s horrified reaction. “Eeeeeeeeee,” he shrieks, as we hear the harrowing snap! of the lethal spring. Or if you failed to hear it, there is also the big lettering now on the screen, reading as follows: “SNAP!”

An announcer gravely delivers the post-mortem. (Or is it the post-murem? Heh.) “Don’t buy the lie Oklahoma. Protect our kids from gambling. Vote NO on 705, 706, & 712.” Protect our kids from gambling? So this mouse wasn’t even an adult? Sure enough, now there’s a photo of a seven-year-old girl on the screen. A human girl, not a mouse girl. That drives the message home, yes? The funny mouse cartoon, as it turns out, was an allegory. If any one of these referenda passes, this very real little girl will contract cheese glaucoma, and be eaten by the governor.

Continuing the cheesy allegory, Bradley (the cat, not the governor) slurps up a mouse tail like spaghetti, as the announcer informs us what kind of government he wants: “Paid for by Oklahomans for Good Government.” The good kind, that’s what kind.

Oklahomans for God Government (oops, I mean Good Government, sorry), is an ad hoc group fronting for the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma. I really want to thank them for making the cartoon. I’ve lived a few decades, and seen a good many cartoons, but this is the first one I’ve seen where the cat finally gets the danged mouse. Good job, guys.

And thanks to Wild Bill, too. And if you’re wondering whether McCarty has an opinion, you can stop wondering.

Palestine’s strong man is a weak man. Yassir Arafat, bloodthirsty murderer of countless thousands, merciless tyrant of the Philistines, and all-around schmuck, has started to feel the icy fingers of death’s embrace.

Smiling and joking nervously in his powder-blue jammies, the leukemia-stricken minion of Satan, 75, said he hopes he can hold out until Jan. 20.

“I am told that when John Kerry is president, people like me will get up out of our wheelchairs and walk again,” said Arafat on Wednesday, as cackling demons stoked the fires of his personal furnace in the lowest depths of Hell. “So I’ve got that to look forward to. Meantime, I’m going to Paris.”

Rumors in America (and rumours in Canada) have been swirling about how blogs may someday displace mainstream media as the authoritative source for news and information. Well, today, it happened.

For the first time in the annals of recorded history, a blogger has made endorsements for every race in the United States. (That blogger was me.) This massive undertaking definitively places bloggers at the top of the “Authority Spiral Cheese Pile,” as sociologist Max Weber might have put it.

And what’s even better, I’ve made it easy for y’all to put the Gleeson 2004 Endorsements form right on your own website! Just a line of code will do it. A longish line.

This experiment in fully informed democracy will benefit from your feedback. Please leave comments here. And link to it from your website. (Sure, I’ll give you a trackback.)