In a move which might have surprised somebody, somewhere, terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden has endorsed war hero gentleman senator John Kerry in the upcoming U.S. presidential election.
In his first public appearance since not being killed, America’s number one enemy made his endorsement at a “Vote or Die!” concert in Heinz Auditorium. Bin Laden will be touring with the band of other anti-American geezers, including Eddie Vedder, Bruce Springsteen, and Korean dictator Kim Jong-il, from now until Nov. 2, if they all live so long.
Sen. Kerry, who has previously voiced a desire to “hunt down and kill” bin Laden, expressed gratitude and enthusiasm at the concert. “I may have said some things in an insensitive manner, but tolerance of differences is what made this country great,” said the Massachusetts liberal. “And Osama and I share one goal, and that’s the defeat of George Bush. His endorsement of me today proves what I’ve said many times, that America needs to be more respected abroad.”
In his own remarks, bin Laden said, “Vote for John Kerry. Vote or die, this is your choice as your placards proclaim truthfully. Americans will vote for John Kerry, because you are weak, and you wish to surrender, ha ha.” He then joined Kerry and Springsteen in an off-key rendition of “Fortunate Son.”
At one point, Mr. bin Laden drew laughter from the audience of Democratic music lovers, when he referred to candidates Kerry and Edwards as “twin towers of praiseworthiness.” When the audience groaned, he realized his embarrassing reference. “Oooops, did I say that? Is Karl Rove wrote my speech, ha ha.”
Very funny, especially the photo! Do you think we could persuade Binny to take a cabinet post in the new Kerry administration? Secretary of Jihad, maybe?
Translating the Bin Laden Transcript
While the CIA is busy trying to find coded messages in the latest Bin Laden tape, I thought that I would offer my own translation of Al-Jazeera’s transcript of the broadcast which aired parts of the tape. Newsreader: “9/11 was…
Translating the Bin Laden Transcript
While the CIA is busy trying to find coded messages in the latest Bin Laden tape, I thought that I would offer my own translation of Al-Jazeera’s transcript of the broadcast which aired parts of the tape. Newsreader: “9/11 was…
dont you like kerry and eddie vedder and all who fight bush ?
its schocking the way you put toghether someone who fought for your country (thx for saving your parents ass in vietnam) and a worldwild criminal suich as bin laden. You stupid cowards, if you want so much to be proud of your wars go combat ! CHICKEN YOU ARE and american you dont deserve to be !
Gildas:
Zeer droevig, u begrijpt hier ons humeur niet. Dank u voor uw commentaar!
Kerry did the saving your parents ass? Where in the vietnam was the ass in the finding? No matter.
You AMERICANS deserve the education of dutch experience that wars are shorter in the losing than to make combat in a sustained fighting! If you are smart, you will partake of the wisdom!