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Look, over to the right. Notice some changes? As part of my continual efforts to improve the Gleeson Bloglomerate experience for you, the reader (hi, Dad), today I cleaned up the sidebars. I’ve been meaning to join some web rings, and to offer sponsored links, but I didn’t want to do those things until I had reined in the cluttered mess that my sidebars had become. Today I did that.

Probably the first thing you’ll notice is the block of ads. These are text ads, powered by AdBrite.

Each and every ad you see in that block (if you ever see an ad in that block) will be a flat-rate advertisement, personally approved by me. I will only accept real links to honest sites, not fake coupons or online casinos or organ enlargements or spyware mongers.

HOW TO ADVERTISE HERE FOR NEXT TO NOTHING

I want to fill six ad slots. Until I get six advertisers, I am offering sponsored text ads for a flat rate of only five bucks a week. After I get my six slots filled, that giveaway price will be raised to at least double. Get in now, and lock in that bargain. (If you buy 90 days, the bargain’s even better: just under 45 cents a day!)

So if you want your link to be seen by thousands of people every day for mere pennies, I suggest you click here.

In what is surely a good omen for my upcoming triumph in the humor category of the 2004 Weblog Awards, I have been selected by the judges at Wizbang as the first runner-up in their weekly photo caption contest. The competition was tough, but in the end, my caption, “I’m sorry, Senator, but Mr. Soros has closed your account,” beat all but one of the 81 other entries, besting even such worthy opponents as “I’ll trade ya this bag of crack for your vote,” and “Pardon me, do you have any grey poupon?”

I would like to thank the Academy, my parents (hi, Dad), and Father Gambro at Fenwick High School, who never stopped believing in me, that I know of.

Oh, and speaking of the 2004 Weblog Awards, if you think your blog has got what it takes to go up against mine (and others) in a sporting competition for glory and accolades, you should be apprised that nominations closed yesterday. Good luck!

Have you ever heard of Blogshares.com? I stumbled upon it when checking my referrals, and was astonished to find that total strangers were buying and selling shares in my blog!

Here, look at this. That’s my blog’s Blogshares history. Apparently, it was selling for 44 cents a share on October 8. By October 29, the price was $426.91 a share. So whoever bought it made a 97000 percent profit in three weeks!

There’s even a press release about someone ‘restructuring’ me: “Scott D. restructured Sean Gleeson gaining 593 shares at a total cost of B$75,595.19 using a Spy Machine (artefact).” Did that make any sense to you? Me neither.

So to learn more about this strange new world, I signed up for a Blogshares account yesterday. They fronted me $500 for a grubstake. A day later, I now have about $1.5 billion. No, really. See my profile, and look at the “Total Worth” number at the bottom.

Sweet, huh? But… hey, it’s all fake! From their home page…

BlogShares is a fantasy stock market where weblogs are the companies. Players invest fictional dollars on shares in blogs. Blogs are valued by their incoming links and add value to other blogs by linking to them. Prices can go up or down based on trading and the underlying value of the blog.

So I can’t do anything with my billions, except play the game some more, and try to get more billions? And I was getting all excited…

Meanwhile, I can only assume something’s gone horribly wrong with the TTLB ecosystem today.

Responding to overwhelming demand, I have designed a new, miniaturized version of the Autorantic Virtual Moonbat. You can put it anywhere you want, really, but it’s designed to fit perfectly in the sidebar area of your blog.

The new “sidebar module” doesn’t have all the options and features of the “live chat module,” because there was no room for all those buttons. But it’s just as funny, and only half the size.

Unlike the live chat module, which lets you talk back to the robot, the sidebar module won’t let anyone else get a word in edgewise. All you can do is click the “RANT” button and get ranted at. (Although if the robot sits idle for a couple of minutes, it gets antsy and rants without you.)

To put the Autorantic Virtual Moonbat sidebar module on your site, just stick this bit of code on your page:

Of course, for those who insist on the robust options and interactivity of the live chat module, it’s still here, too.

The code for the live chat module is the same as ever:

With either module, the one on your site will be updated automatically as I make improvements; you won’t need to change your code.

Have fun!

I’m just a bit too busy today to write in depth about anything. But I wish to post a few brief notices on sundry topics.

• I posted a new sketch, titled “Cling,” over on S.P.R.I.G. Click the image at the right to see the large version.
• Pope Concerned About U.S. Priest Shortage, says the AP story. The number of vocations has been declining, even as the membership of the Church has been rising, ever since the New Mass was introduced by Paul VI. Meanwhile the FSSP, a small order that still says the Old Mass, has built a majestic seminary — the first new seminary in North America in three decades — and have more applicants than openings. The pope urges us to pray for priestly vocations, and I endorse this urging. But I think we should also pay attention when the Lord is trying to provide the answers to our prayers.
• Speaking of priests and prayers, please save an intention for Father Hamilton, who I fear is doomed to six more weeks of nausea, barring a miracle, or a needle.
• Today TTLB promoted blog.gleeson.us from a “Marauding Marsupial” to a “Large Mammal.” In five days, our rank has gone from 1,310 to 864. Looks like I entered those Weblog Awards in the nick of time.