If you’re like me, except single, you probably often say to yourself, “Gosh, I wish I could find a special person of the opposite sex, someone with whom I could maybe discuss politics, without being called rude names and being hit in the head with a vase. That would be nice.”

Well, you can stop your whining about it, crybaby. My diligent research has unearthed ConservativeMatch.com, a virtual place where conservative guys and gals, but mostly guys, go to find countersexed conservatives, to form couples.

That’s their home page, above. As you can tell from the photo, these… hey, wait one second, what can you tell from that photo? Three guys, two girls. One of these guys is a wallflower.

Must be this one, with the delta-wing collar and Sansabelt polyester slacks. He’s the only one not smiling, and the others seem to be doing their best to ignore him. They didn’t even give him a beverage. Sorry, you are not a winner. Please try again.

I started a free account on ConservativeMatch. (My wife understands, it’s for research.) I was immediately presented with a “profile” questionnaire, with hundreds of questions about my own private affairs. I skipped all that, and went straight to the part where I can search for local right-wing honeys.

I searched for women, aged 18 to 50, anywhere in the state of Oklahoma. I found 19 of them. I wasn’t expecting so many. Some of them had photos, and one of the ladies was cute as a bug’s ear. Further research is indicated. Owww! I mean, someone else should research this further.

“But Sean,” you might be objecting, “what if I want to meet lonely left-wingers? Have you no pity on us moonbats? After taking the reins of government from us, will you also deny us love?”

Not at all, friend. Liberals may conduct their venereal reconnaissance at DemDates.com.

I did not set up an account at DemDates, so I don’t know what you’ll find. But a glance at their home page shows… good Lord! What did he do to that poor woman? Are you okay, miss?

Some advice from Saint-Exupery: “Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.”