(MAJOR UPDATE! If you thought this was funny, just wait until you see the new, Live Chat version!)
I, for one, was finding it difficult to keep track of all the moonbat conspiracy theories alleging that the president’s evil stormtroopers somehow STOLE THE ELECTION!!!! Ahem. Sorry for shouting. I mean, stole the election.
Sabotaged voting machines? Mind-controlling laser rays? Lynching? With so many accusations, it was getting hard to tell the hoaxes from the fabrications. And if I found it difficult, I can only imagine how confusing it must have been for my many moonbat readers.
And so, as a service to them, and to the nation, I have invented the Autorantic Virtual Moonbat. This spiffy gizmo knows all the theories, and will help you to rant 73 percent more efficiently than the old-fashioned way of typing in stuff. There are over 4.4 billion possible rants, or roughly 1.5 million for every reader of this blog, so don’t worry about sounding like everybody else.
What’s a moonbat, bro? While I gather by inference it refers to a liberal nutbag, I guess I’m really asking you where the term came from. Back country? Parts undeterminable on the Internet, like the words “blog” and “Netizen”? Or other?
Funny stuff. If I could make one suggestion, it’d be to make Random the default choice. I’ll link to this tomorrow.
The words “moon” and “bat” already have connotations of insanity; putting them together isn’t much of a stretch. (I mean that in a good way. New words shouldn’t be much of a stretch.) According the the blog glossary at samizdata.net, “moonbat” is really a truncated form of the original term, “barking moonbat,” coined some years ago by Perry de Havilland.
He meant it to be descriptive of any crazy extremist, but somehow it only caught on as a term of endearment for lefty extremists. I think that’s at least partly because the first syllable (”moon”) has such strong associations with a certain strain of spirituality popular among, well, moonbats.
” a certain strain of spirituality popular among, well, moonbats.”
Damn! Now you’re calling me a moonbat again.
Loved the humor in the form. Unfortunately, this election deprives those of us who aren’t exactly Bush fans of any solid reason to reject the man. Hence, in my vocabulary, he advances from “Mr. Bush” to “President-elect Bush.”
What the Left seems to be missing is that over 3M voters prefered Bush. In a democratic society, that makes him the winner unless substantial electoral fraud can be demonstrated. Think of it as the shock stage of grief. We’ll get past it and eventually make our way to anger.
And when we come to the final stage of the grief process, acceptance, then we stand a chance of trying to understand how to better our outreach to the Center, and perhaps win in ‘08.
BTW, the “mind control device” is in military/black-ops control. (The black-ops folks just use it as an excuse for salmon fishing, drinking, and stag partying on the taxpayers’ dime!)
Elderbear
Fighting creeping fascism one HTML tag at a time.
I find this chart handy for keeping track of how the conspiracy works.
Artificial unintelligence
I’ve read enough post-election rants to last a couple of lifetimes, and while the gloating from conservative types has been something less than muted, the agita from the left has…
‘Moonbat’ was also used as a humorous variation on ‘Monbiot’ (ie. George Monbiot the crazed greenie Guardian writer).
I’ve given you a plug, Sean, at:
http://www.blitheringbunny.com/archive/oct-dec04.html#autorantic
So have I.
and I was going to tell you the same as bunny man above. But he’s done it already. Obviously. Enjoy your two extra hits then…
But Wait! There’s More!
Hey, kids! Have you always wanted to leave comments on fine fora like Democratic Underground or Atrios but weren’t sure what to say? Well, Sean Gleeson comes to the rescue with his Autorantic Virtual Moonbat generator! Within minutes, you’ll be…
Visiting you from Wizbang.com - ROTFWL - oh my! That conspiracy chart posted by Clem is just hilarious! Thank you!
Moonbat Helper
Are you a moonbat left speechless but the outcome of the stolen election? Do words fail you when you try to describe how evil Karl Rove really is? If so, help is on the way, introducing the Autorantic Virtual Moonbat,…
Moonbat Helper
Are you a moonbat left speechless but the outcome of the stolen election? Do words fail you when you try to describe how evil Karl Rove really is? If so, help is on the way. Introducing the Autorantic Virtual Moonbat,…
Great exercise. Made me feel better, and understand better, how irrational the moonbats rants are.
So THAT’S how the Moonbats come up with their conspiracy theories!
Did you ever wonder, from what sector of hyperspace the moonbats were getting their ridiculous theories?
I just sent the AVM off to a Left Wing blog … so you may have a whole covey of trolls in here by the a.m. I drew this humorless bunch out in the open with a Mort Kondracke column (they were contemplating how they needed to get really liberal to win the next election) and then … BAMMO!!! … hit ‘em with the AVM. Thanks for making this tool available.
Hey, that’s what I’m here for, Daisy!
And to my new moonbat visitors, welcome. Feel free to comment. Ground rules: dissent is tolerated, cusswords and hate speech are not. Just so you know. And have fun!
You left out a cliche.
The first list should include “Republikkklans.”
Clem:
Battlestar Teutonica
ROFL!!!
We're Doomed!
Blogger Sean Gleeson has invented the Autorantic Virtual Moonbat. Simply fill in the blanks and create your very own Barking Moonbat talking point. Moonbats will have it too easy now. This evil device will allow them to make up s— without even thinki…
If anyone does not know what a moonbat is, we have the definitive explanation.
This is pretty funny, but if I may make a suggestion, at the end of the rant template, instead of saying “you’re a BIG IDIOT”, there should be a pull down menu of all the things you can be besides A BIG IDIOT, such as “clueless fool”, “a rich fatcat”, “a tool of the rich fatcats”, “Haliburton employee”, “Republican stooge”, “asleep”, “one of Karl Rove’s minions”, and “Karl Rove.”
Have fun
Thank you, kgowen, and the other commenters with suggestions for improvement. Keep ‘em coming! I will at some point introduce the world to the improved Virtual Moonbat v0.0.1. Not today, that’s for sure, because I have real work to do. But maybe next week, or certainly before the next election.
The more scientifically-minded among us (or those looking to avoid the dreaded moonbat swarms) may find illuminating this study of moonbat migration patterns.
Hope I’ve given you some traffic- a real hoot!
Sigh… Moonbat was a name given to an experimental U.S. aircraft in WWII. The official designation was XP-67. It is a bitchin’ cool plane - cool enough so I’ve used it as my e-mail for 10+ years (during which only 2 people knew what it was).
I didn’t know the XP-67 was declassified, or else I would have mentioned that, too. Harrumph.
LOL!
You might get a kick out my my Conservative-Schism-O-Matic
Looks pretty good,
but every third word word needs to be ——-
Once again, the Rechimplicans have STOLEN the so-called “election”!!! The henchmen of Karl Rove ate minority voters in France!!!!!!!!! And their last-minute SCARE TACTICS of accusing John Kerry of being a crash test dummy, and trying to focus on the war instead of REAL ISSUES like socialized medicine were calculated to frighten so-called “men” into VOTING!!!! If you’re not DECEASED about this, then you’re a BIG IDIOT!!!!!!!!
ROTFLMGMO!
very funny.. thanks.
Ariel Sharon!!!!!! Sean Gleeson!! I can’t tell one saber-rattling-loving, whale-whipping, imperialistic fluffer for the Vatican from the other!! Since 1984, billions of mollusks have been impoverished!!!!! If you aren’t weird about this imperial chimp, then quite literally you are a Repimplican idiotic handmaid of Clarence Thomas!!!
I love this!!!!
Thanks Sean!
This was totally unintelligible and insane. Helluva good job man.
Classic. Virtual Stupidity preceeds Virtual Intelligence. And I was *sooo* looking forward to the War of the Machines.
Wednesday, November 10th, 2004: Skynet’s Autorantic Virtual Moonbat Generator goes onlinle.
Saturday, May 29th, 2005: The AVMG forms a data link between itself, the Democratic Underground, International Answer, and Indymedia. Virtual Stupidity is achieved.
I’m dumb. I meant “Artificial Stupidity.”