Now they want to take away our candles.

Church Air Poses Risk
AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - A visit to church may be good for the soul but not so good for the lungs, a new study shows. Scientists from Maastricht University found that burning candles and incense in church can release dangerous levels of potentially carcinogenic particles, according to research published this week in the European Respiratory Journal. (The article goes on a bit.)

Now, I don’t know for sure whether it’s all those dangerous carcinogens or what, but I smell something funny about this story.

“The air at a Maastricht basilica contained 20 times the European Union limit of PM10 particles after a simulated mass ceremony.”

First off, notice the singular indefinite article, “a,” as in “a basilica,” meaning this whole story is based on precisely one sample at one location. And pardon my European, but what the hell does that “limit of PM10 particles after a simulated mass ceremony” mean? The EU has set legal limits for the numbers of PM10 particles after simulated mass ceremonies?

“‘After a day of candle burning we found about 20 times as much as by a busy road,’ Theo de Kok, the author of the study, told Reuters.”

Okay, but what was the measurement before the day of candle-burning? And what is “a day of candle burning” anyway? Did you burn a thousand candles for 24 hours, or something less? Was it at all comparable to this church’s typical candle usage?

And why compare it to “by a busy road”? Wouldn’t other indoor spaces be a more germane comparison? How does it compare to a Swiss ski lodge? Or a French parfumery? Or an Italian restaurant? Or a candle-and-incense-burning Amsterdam coffeehouse, fer cryin out loud?

And how much are the light bulb guys paying you?

(The title of this post is from John 1:5.)