Retiring anchor Dan Rather (left) and replacement
Autorantic Virtual Moonbat at CBS News staff meeting

At a CBS News staff meeting today, outgoing anchorman Dan Rather introduced his replacement, the Autorantic Virtual Moonbat.

Rather, 93, has been the CBS News anchorman since 1981, when the network decided to abandon journalism in favor of liberal advocacy. The Autorantic Virtual Moonbat, 0.2.2, is an insane automaton which generates untrue allegations against the president and other enemies of the left.

“Our viewers won’t notice much of a difference,” said CBS Chairman Les Moonves, “except maybe a bit more objectivity and regard for truth.”