You know how Pope John Paul II condemned the U.S. invasion of Iraq, right? I mean, everyone knows that he pronounced it was not a “just war,” and has publicly chastised President Bush for his warmongering on many occasions. Right? I mean, that has to be true, or else the New York Times and the BBC couldn’t keep saying it. Right?

Well, Peter Robinson over at The Corner just refuses to be reasonable about this. He actually wants to know when the pope literally, you know, said any of that stuff. Robinson wants someone — anyone — to e-mail him some actual quote from the actual pope that confirms his oft-adduced “outspoken opposition to the war in Iraq.”

Sounds like a challenge to me. If you find such a statement by Pope John Paul II, e-mail it to me as well as to Robinson. The first one to send me any qualifying quote will win the coveted Gleeson Researcher of the Century Award, an honor so exclusive no one’s ever earned it. Not only will I mention the winner on my site, I will spend an entire day doing nothing but mention the winner on my site. I’ll write post after post throughout the day saying things like, “[Your name here] is wonderful, sagacious, and good-looking, especially compared to a schlub like me. All hail [your name here], and visit [his/her] website at [your website here]. I cannot stress enough that [your name here] is the wisest and most brilliant [etc.]”

Robinson doesn’t say what his prize is, but I’m sure he’ll do the same thing over on The Corner, or I don’t know Peter Robinson, which I don’t.

Oh, and the prize also includes a cold pint of beer on me. (Winner must be present to claim beer.)

“But Sean, you repulsive piece of slime,” you’re objecting, “I would love to prove you and your warmongering fascist buddies are wrong and ignorant, but where am I supposed to find every word of every public statement the pope’s ever made?”

Oh, hey, look, it’s every word of every public statement the pope’s ever made. With a search form! And to aid your research further, I offer you “the Ratzinger Fan Club,” with many hundreds of links on this very topic.

Just one ground rule: the winning entry must be a quote from Pope John Paul II condemning the U.S. liberation of Iraq. That means,

• Paraphrases don’t coun’t.
• Quotes from persons other than John Paul II don’t count.
• Quotes by John Paul II that do not condemn the U.S. invasion of Iraq don’t count.
• Quotes expressing only a general regret of the existence of violence don’t count.
• Quotes expressing only a general hope, prayer, or wish for peace don’t count.
• Quotes simply urging “everyone” to please “outlaw war forever” don’t count.

I think you get the idea. My e-mail address is sean@gleeson.us. Robinson’s is RbnsEggBlu@aol.com. Please put the word pope in your subject line.

UPDATE 1: Just got my first entrant. Bill Raftery sent in that one from January 2003 that goes, “War is not always inevitable. It is always a defeat for humanity…[etc.]” His Holiness repeated the Christian admonition that war must be “the very last option and in accordance with very strict conditions” and so forth. (Raftery also sent the New York Times article that helpfully explained what the pope really meant to say, if he weren’t so pressed for time.) Thanks, Bill, but sorry, you are not a winner. I just thought I’d update this now, in case other readers were planning to send that quote.

Yes, the pope denounces war. So do I, and so does George Bush. I only have the one rule, folks: find a quote from Pope John Paul II condemning the U.S. liberation of Iraq. (See bullet points above.)

UPDATE 2: While I was still writing that update, Mr. Raftery sent his own exigesis of the pope’s text. He even pasted in the dictionary definition of ‘denounce’ (which apparently means “to pronounce especially publicly to be blameworthy or evil”), and says, “At mimimum have the courage (decency?) to post what was said (or link to it) and let the chips fall where they may.” Willikers, Raftery, I’m typing as fast as I can!

UPDATE 3: The discussion continues, in the comments to this post.

UPDATE 4: Remember, back when I linked to the the Ratzinger Fan Club, and said they provide hundreds of links on this very topic? If you don’t have time to read those hundreds of links, just read these three, which E. L. Core just e-mailed me. Read “War in the Gulf: What the Pope Really Said,” “War No More?,” and “Has the Holy Father Condemned U.S. Action?” Pretend I wrote them.