 Google founders Sergey Brin and Larry Page, and a cached copy of Page.
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“We’ve been indexing souls for some months now,” explained company co-founder Sergey Brin. “Any user who has the Google toolbar installed automatically has his immortal soul scanned and archived. We’ve got about 750 million souls in the index now, which is enough to start the beta testing. As more people use the service, we hope to increase that number a lot, obviously.”
Brin defended the practice of indexing the souls of Google users against charges of privacy violation. “Hey, nobody’s holding a gun to their heads,” he said. “They agreed to our Terms of Use of Terms when they installed the toolbar.”
“Yeah, what he said,” agreed other Google co-founder Larry Page. “But anyone can just suck a soul out of a human body. Microsoft has been doing that for decades now. What makes our service a quantum leap in usability is our proprietary SoulRank algorithm, which ranks all retrieved souls based on really secret criteria. These criteria are generated by another super-secret algorithm. Nobody, not even Larry and I, really knows how this stuff works.”
“I’m Sergey,” corrected Brin. “You’re Larry.”
Meanwhile, competitor Yahoo has discontinued its embattled Yahoo Soul Search feature, due to complaints from users that the soul searching was cumbersome and painful.
