It turns out Jennifer Wilbanks wasn’t kidnapped; she just ran away from home. She was found unharmed in Arizona. Sure, it’s embarrassing for her and her family, and a little screwy, but it’s better news than finding her mangled corpse in a dumpster would have been.

What I’m wondering is this: since her relatives had offered a $100,000.00 reward for any information leading to Wilbanks’s return, can she claim the reward? Or even better, if no one else is going to claim it, can I claim it? I know where she is.

Marymount Manhattan College, founded in 1936 by the Sisters of the Sacred Heart of Mary, is now officially no longer Catholic. Unofficially, the institution hasn’t been Catholic for years. On its website, it never so much as claims to be Catholic. (The closest it comes is in the student handbook (PDF), where it acknowledges that the cross depicted on its seal is some kind of “emblem of the Catholic faith.”) The Body of Christ is a ponderous body, and is often slow to react.

Gordon the Cranky Neocon has been posting lists of good blogs here, and here. His tastes and mine are virtually identical, and he’s done all that work, so I’ll just direct you to him, with my endorsement.

I’m frightfully busy today, making some modifications to my online card game Wichita Faro. The modifications were requested by a licensee, who will be putting Wichita Faro on a really cool Old West website. I’ll have more details later. I’m trying to get as much done as I can before I have to leave, to work second shift at the Edmond paper.

Mr. N.Z. Bear, he of The Truth Laid Bear, is holding a contest for artists to design his new header artwork. Today he posted his first entrant, which is perhaps the most inspiring depiction of a polar bear and squirrel in love I have ever seen.

As my regular readers know (hi, Dad) I sometimes draw pictures for Michael Fumento, health and science mastermind at the Hudson Institute in Washington, D.C.

Being a professional debunker and lover of truth, Fumento gets a lot of angry letters from the professional bunkers and haters of truth. Admirably, he takes the time to answer his hate mail, patiently pointing out the errors of his correspondents. Even their spelling errors. And then he posts their rants on his website, with his gentle replies. He’s doing the Lord’s work, he is.

What I’m trying to say is, Fumento’s Hate Mail Volume 37 is up. (If you happen to smoke, this volume reads even better if you light a cigarette first.)

Just how important is Administrative Professionals Week? According to the International Association of Administrative Professionals (IAAP), Administrative Professionals Week “is one of the largest workplace observances outside of employee birthdays and major holidays.” Wow! Sounds important, all right. Let’s learn all we can about it.

The first National Secretaries Week was proclaimed in 1952, by Secretary of Commerce Charles Sawyer. President Truman gave him a box of chocolates and a store-bought card. “To a Swell Secretary of Commerce,” it reads. “In war and peace / Through bad times and good / You’ve been there for me / Like a secretary should. / And thanks loads for helping me try / To nationalize the steel industry.” The card is now housed in the Smithsonian.

In 1981, the word ‘National’ was dropped from National Secretaries Week, to reflect the growing awareness that not all secretaries are citizens of the United States, and it was renamed Professional Secretaries Week.

In 2000, the word ‘Secretaries’ was dropped from Professional Secretaries week, to reflect the growing awareness that not all administrative professionals are secretaries, and it was renamed Administrative Professionals Week.

In 2018, Administrative Professionals Week will be renamed Everybody Week, to reflect the growing awareness that not all persons are administrative professionals. But for now, it’s still Administrative Professionals Week.

What is an appropriate gift for Administrative Professionals Week? 1800flowers.com suggests their Chocolate-Covered Strawberries Gift Box, which will set you back about thirty dollars. But they would suggest something like that, wouldn’t they? According to the IAAP “Answers to Frequently Asked Questions About Administrative Professionals Week,” a more appropriate gift would be college tuition.

Please join me in wishing the administrative professionals a happy week.