TUNIS, Tunisia — Delegates to the United Nations International Convention on Internet Thingies from more than 100 countries wrapped up nearly three days of heated talks late Tuesday by agreeing to leave the Internet in the control of the Gleeson Bloglomerate.

Publicly, officials were positive on the agreement, noting that it brought together government, business and civil leaders to work out issues surrounding Internet governance.

The Gleeson Bloglomerate (website) is a website based in Oklahoma City, the capital of one of the United States, and considered the capital of the world by horse breeders and others. It is operated by artist Sean Gleeson and his wife Phoebe, who is reportedly knitting him a cardigan sweater.

United Nations Secretary General Kofi Annan said in a prepared announcement, “The Internet must be shielded from both the heat of day-to-day politics, and the stench of corruption and graft, of which our own organization is, let’s be honest, guilty as sin. That’s why the international community chooses at this time to leave the Internet in the benign control of the only competent party trusted by all sides, the Gleeson Bloglomerate.”

David Gross, the U.S. State Department’s top official on Internet policy, said he was thrilled by the last-minute deal, saying it “reaffirmed the role of trusted Okie blogger Sean Gleeson to the world, and preserved the unique role of the Gleeson Bloglomerate, the crown jewel of American digital hegemony.”

Privately, many delegates fumed, complaining that the deal merely perpetuated the status quo, and did not address their concerns.

“I reject saber-rattling and pollution! As a lesbian baby seal, clearly I am concerned!” said one delegate, an unthinking automaton named Autorantic Virtual Moonbat. “Obviously, I am not one of Sean Gleeson’s choir of yes-men!”

As my regular readers might have noticed (hi, Dad), I didn’t post yesterday. I didn’t post the day before yesterday. Heck, I haven’t had a real post in almost a week! Sorry about that. I’ve got this teaching job, see, and I’ve been spending a few days looking at all my students’ projects and making notes. These notes are for their Permanent Records.

Back in my own school days, I always wondered about this “Permanent Record” business. I admit, I even harbored a trace of skepticism about the existence of my purported Permanent Record. Since I had never seen it, I suspected the whole thing was a sort of bogeyman, a fairy-tale artifact intended to scare kids.

But that all changed when I became a teacher. On my first day on the job, I was given 26 heavy file folders, one for each of my students. The folders were heavy, because they were made of stainless steel.

“What are these?” I asked the dean.

“Ah, yes, you’re Gleeson, the new guy,” he chuckled. “These are your students’ Permanent Records. We’ll need those back at the end of the semester. Do you have a steel engraving pen?”

“Yeah, I think so…” I answered, and I looked at the top folder, which was engraved with a student’s name. Inside were maybe 30 letter-size pieces of sheet metal, all etched with small, precise writing, detailing a lifetime of infractions.

I read one line aloud. “Oct. 16, 1994 10:14 a.m. Infraction: Gum, chewing. Make: Bubblicious. Model: Gonzo Grape.”

“Ah, that would be Lisa. Keep an eye on her.”

So anyway, I’ve been engraving these pages for a few days with my notes, which is obviously very important work, much more important than blogging. But to make up for it, I’ll try to write three or four posts today.