Hey, could you do me a favor? Stop global warming. There’s no rush; I don’t need another record cold Oklahoma winter, thank you very much. But maybe starting in March, could you just stop it? Thanks. Oh, and speaking of March… well, I’ll get back to that.

If you won’t stop global warming for me, do it so Larry David can eat tuna. Mr. David, the creator of the Seinfeld television series, says that he cannot eat tuna because you haven’t stopped global warming.

“One word,” he said. “Tuna. It has mercury in it. It’s not safe to eat it anymore.”

Nevermind that mercury has nothing to do with global warming.

“I’ve been ordering tuna every day of my life since I was 10 years old,” he said. “I was a tuna connoisseur. I appeal to all of you people to start solving this problem so I can once again sit in a restaurant and order a tuna sandwich, with lettuce and tomato. Hold the mayo.”

He said this on stage at the comedy show Earth to America, which is very funny and which airs Sunday at 8:00 Eastern, 7:00 Central, on Superstation TBS. Obviously the stuffy New York Times reviewer didn’t get the joke. (Doy, hello! Of course mercury has nothing to do with global warming! Don’t you get it? It’s like that one when George said he was a marine biologist.)

So how can you stop global warming? Turns out it’s pretty easy. It’s all a matter of using fluorescent light bulbs, tuning up your car, fixing your leaky bathroom sink, and other sensible cost-saving advice. The “Take Action!” page at StopGlobalWarming.org (founded by Laurie David, Larry’s missus) lists 40 practical measures, most of which should save you some green, whether or not they have any impact on the old greenhouse. And if you just happen to stop global warming in the process, who’s gonna complain? It’s a free country.
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