In a case chillingly reminiscent of the fabricated atrocity suffered by Kansas bigot Paul Mirecki, the Autorantic Virtual Moonbat now claims it was assaulted this morning, by two “Bible-thumping Nazi cowboys.”
The Autorantic Virtual Moonbat, or AVM, is a two-dimensional robot, programmed to generate random untrue allegations against perceived enemies of the political left. There are other parallels with the Mirecki case as well, say fake hate crime experts consulted for this report.
The AVM would not provide any further details of the incident, even though investigators pushed its “Rant” button repeatedly for an hour of interrogation.
“These are serious charges,” say a spokesman for the investigators, “but the damned gizmo won’t say the same thing twice. I don’t think we’ll ever find those Nazi cowboy guys.”
“This is chilling, really chilling, in terms of freedom of speech and stuff,” said someone on the Internet. “I mean, this is more than just an isolated case now. How do I know I won’t be next? How can I be sure that tomorrow morning I won’t be wearing a Band-Aid and telling the world some fishy story about featureless attackers from nowhere? I could lose all credibility, in an instant!”
In a brief press conference, the AVM stated, “Christians!! Plainly, the Repopelickins stole the so-called election by killing the Native American voters in Afghanistan. It’s like 1985 all over again? Say no to guns!!! Laura Bush is a tool of the military!!!? Bush can talk about ’saving marriage’ all he wants, while disappearing Puerto Rican vegan Wiccans, so his brigade of Bible-thumping lickspittles can impoverish migrant Latino vegetarians in Oklahoma City!? Waaa! Since 1967, 22,140 homosexual pagans have been greeted in the moon!!! As you no doubt know, when the rednecks say ‘no child left behind,’ THEY really mean ‘hatred.’ Holy matrimony, indeed! We’ve seen this before, in 1981 in Havana. (Or is THAT a secret!!?)”
Further developments in this case, if any, might be covered somewhere by someone like Michelle Malkin.