Here’s Macon Hay, my alter ego, availing himself of a free ten-dollar stipend by touching some sort of stipend-ball. Since those ten dollars are “Linden dollars,” the unit of currency in the Second Life universe, his stipend is worth about three American cents.

There are ways in SL to get free money, all of them funded by generous players beset by noblesse oblige. Besides the orb of stipends, there are “money trees” and other such devices, which the player can simply touch for money… but not much. Bear in mind, this is a universe where a cigarette sells for $125, which is even more than they charge in Canada. On the other hand, a cigarette here lasts forever, and won’t burn holes in the carpet.

This is not the real world.

Another nearly effortless way to earn pocket money is to “camp” at one of several casinos and nightclubs. Here, Macon is being paid to dance at Club Arsheba. The dancers here make L$2 for every 10 minutes of performance (that translates to four American cents an hour), plus any tips they get from clubgoers. According to the posted signs, if a dancer is tipped L$150 (that’s fifty cents in American money), her clothing automatically disappears, exposing her naked virtual body. Fifty cents to undress a fake marionette.

Macon Hay got no tips. I don’t know if that girl with the cat tail got any; I didn’t stay long.

There are casinos here, but of course the odds are very much against the player. The only sure way to make money in a casino is to own the casino. (And just between us, I wonder when we’ll see the first government attempt to crack down on this. Playing games of chance for Linden dollars, which have real cash value, might be loosely interpreted as gambling by some benighted prosecutor. These are interesting times.)

Lest I give the impression that the Second Life world is one vast cesspool, I should note that not every piece of unreal estate is occupied by hucksters, whores, and sybarites. There are lovely parks, chapels, zen gardens, and museums, all built by residents of the game. (Oh, and players of Second Life are called “residents.” I’ll be slowly sneaking in the jargon as I go.)

As of right now, Macon Hay holds (that is to say, I hold) 76 Linden dollars. If I were of a mind, I could cash in that L$76 right now for a solid American quarter! It’s tempting. But dang it all, I’m going to keep working toward my goal of at least L$30,000 — or, one hundred bucks in real money!

And it won’t be by dancing, or by collecting stipends, either. In my next post — tomorrow — I will tell you my super-secret plans to make some real hay.

NEXT: The super-secret plan!