I have previously discussed the Jean Schmidt marathon photo affair here, here, and here. The controversy is becoming a marathon of sorts in its own right. And now, in this fourth act, a new character enters. A funny one.
Currently, Dr. Dennis Hayslett is a music teacher at Eastern Illinois University, in Charleston, Illinois. [UPDATE: Or not. See bottom of this post.] In his tuxedo, he looks something like a Mafioso.
But on October 24, 1993, Dennis Hayslett was wearing running togs. That’s him, as captured in Rep. Schmidt’s contested photo of the Columbus Marathon. The official race results say Hayslett finished 928th overall, two positions ahead of Schmidt, just as her photo seems to show.
Hayslett claims to have his own photo of himself nearing the finish line of that fateful race! Obviously, this photograph, if it exists, could settle this whole fiasco in an instant. Either Schmidt is two positions behind Hayslett in his photo, or she isn’t. If this photo were made available, Nate Noy could conceivably admit he was mistaken and get on with his write-in campaign.
But here’s the wrinkle: Hayslett wants to cash in on his suddenly interesting piece of evidence. He e-mailed Noy last night, demanding to know exactly “how much is it worth” to see this photograph. He also said he would invite Jean Schmidt to bid on it too. I don’t get the impression Dr. Hayslett wants to be reimbursed for postage and handling. I think he really believes he’s struck it rich! Hayslett is starring in some kind of gangster heist movie, playing in his head.
To sweeten his offer, and reinforce his rispetto, Dr. Hayslett even told Noy: “It would be a shame if this photo ended up at the bottom of someone’s shredder.” What’s that, a veiled threat to shred his own photo? Then what, throw it in the river with cement shoes? And to think I once thought Noy was the comic relief in this drama.
Since Hayslett lives in Illinois [Montana], the Ohio Elections Commission has no jurisdiction to subpoena him or his snapshot. But I bet those negatives still exist someplace in Ohio. I’ll let y’all know if anyone finds them.
For more info on Dr. Hayslett, read his student ratings, in which he fares poorly, or his autobiography, where I daresay he comes off much better. The last sentence of Hayslett’s bio says:
In 2002, the Disney Foundation granted him the Dr. Martha Uhrig Memorial “Most Inspirational Teacher” Award.
Sounds like a prestigious award, all right. Want to know just how prestigious? So did I. So I just did the following Google searches:
That should give you an idea of just how many web pages in the world mention Dr. Martha Uhrig, or her memorial award. And here’s a list of all past recipients of the Disney Teacher Awards. This Uhrig memorial award isn’t there, so I guess that explains why Hayslett isn’t there either. I reckon there’s an innocent explanation, a typo or something of that nature.
IMPORTANT UPDATE: Here’s another fact I just learned, not mentioned on the EIU website: Dennis Hayslett is now living in Montana, and reportedly no longer employed at Eastern Illinois University! The new Director of Bands is Dr. Milton Allen.
ANOTHER UPDATE: Dr. Hayslett finally made his photo available, without the whopping cash bonus he was hoping for. He says he did this honorable deed because he “grew tired of being defamed by Internet bloggers.”