[The instructions and the ten sentences below are from a “grammar exercise” my friend Rebecca was assigned, as part of some course at the University of Phoenix. My own answers are added thereupon, for the benefit of Rebecca and anyone else forced to complete this exercise. If anyone has better answers than mine, please comment or trackback to this post.]

INSTRUCTIONS: Rewrite the following ten sentences, focusing on the grammar area specified. If the sentence is already correct, write No Change.

Making Language Nonsexist

1. The directors and their wives met the stockholders for a night on the town.

   ANSWER: The directors and stockholders met for a night on the town, but the wives came too.

2. Each advisor was contacted by his students.

   ANSWER: Each advisor was castrated by his students.

3. The minister joined the couple together as man and wife.

   ANSWER: Some number of persons entered a socially sanctioned copulative union that is regulated by laws, rules, customs, beliefs, and attitudes that prescribe the rights and duties of the partners and accords status to their offspring, if any.

Making Language Nonracist and Nonagist

4. She is a very capable black woman.

   ANSWER: The capable person who happens to be a woman is very black.

5. His grandmother really enjoys spending the afternoon at the center for senior citizens.

   ANSWER: His or her grandparent spends a nonracist and nonagist afternoon at the center for senior citizens, or señor noncitizens.

6. It’s hard to believe that a woman her age could accomplish so much.

   ANSWER: It’s hard or easy to believe or disbelieve that a woman or man her or his age or youth could accomplish or not accomplish so much or so little.

7. One of the high points of our trip was seeing the Canadian Eskimos in their traditional garb.

   ANSWER: We went on an uneventful trip to Canada.

Talking about People with Disabilities and Diseases

8. Her brother’s friend is an AIDS victim.

   ANSWER: We are all AIDS victims, because of Republicans. That reminds me, how is your brother’s friend doing?

Quoting from Biased Sources

9. The law from the 1800s mandated that men could buy alcohol and cigarettes only from a state store.

   ANSWER: The “law” from the 1800s “man”-dated that “men” could “buy” alcohol and cigar-”ettes” only from a state “store.”

10. The employee guide indicated that men could add their spouses to their health care plan.

   ANSWER: According to sentence 10, “The employee guide indicated that men could add their spouses to their health care plan.”