Well, it’s October 24 again, and you know what that means! No? It’s United Nations Day, of course! Here are some suggestions for celebrating U.N. Day in your household or place of business.

Explain to your children what war was, and tell them how on this day in 1945, all the countries got together to make sure it never happens again. If there’s time, mention the Tooth Fairy, too.

Make and decorate a “donation box” with recycled paper, and take a collection around the office for feeding starving children, or spaying stray cats, or any other worthy charity. Then turn out the lights for a minute. When the lights come back on, display the empty box. Say, “whoops!”

Take a nap.

Visit a high-crime area, and when you see a crime being committed, announce that you do not approve, not one little bit. Duck.

Hold a “Mock United Nations” session, in which all the participants come up with their own reasons to mock the United Nations.

Bury your children in the backyard, up to their necks, and let them play “U.N. Peacekeepers”!

Appoint the office receptionist to be “America.” Everyone else make speeches about how “America” is an evil, lowdown, dirty prostitute, until she pays each of you $1000.

Tonight, make it a “U.N. Dinner”! I mean, chicken.

Bake cookies in the shape of every member nation, and decorate them in their national colors with icing and sprinkles. Sing a peace chant while you crumble Israel into little bits, and flush it down the toilet.

Invite Cindy Sheehan to your house to give a lecture about how George Bush caused Hurricane Katrina because Halliburton hates owls. (She’ll really come, too, if you tell her you’re a reporter for Newsweek. I’ve done it four times myself.)